Book Trailers Uno

I’ve been thinking lately about book trailers and their effectiveness.

Book trailers are just like movie trailers. But for books. They’re little videos authors create to get you interested in buying their book.

I asked authors to send me links to their book trailers so I could post them and see what other people like or dislike about them.

I got a lot so I’ve broken them into uno, dos and tres blog posts. Would you take a look and tell me what you think of these?

David Lubar …

Kathleen Guler …

Lynda Hilburn …

Olivia Gentile … this one isn’t on YouTube so you have to go to her website. I think you’ll like this one. This is actually the one that got me started thinking about the topic.

If you’re an author with a book trailer tell me how you promote it.

If you’re an author without a book trailer tell me if you want one in the future.

If you’re a reader, what do you think about book trailers? Are they effective? Do any of these make you want to go out and buy the book? Would you ever seek out a book trailer? If so, how would you search?

Okinawa Time

For a smart person, I’m kinda dumb about some things.

Like, for instance, the way time changes depending on where you are.

I blame it on my dad.

He lives in Arizona which sometimes uses the same clock I do here in Colorado. But the other half of the year, they follow Star Date Time, or something. When it’s 2 pm on a Saturday at my house, apparently at his it’s 317 years in the future. And Tuesday.

At one point my daughter lived in Oregon and my son in Illinois. Not a day went by when I knew which one was waking up and which one was tying his shoes.

When my son moved from Chicago to Japan, I simply gave up.

Then my husband came to my rescue. He told me if I add three hours to whatever time it is at my house, then flip the a.m. and p.m., that’s Okinawa time.

Even though I don’t hear from my son as much as I’d like, I find it quite comforting to check the time and know it’s 3 a.m. and he’s safely tucked in. (Shut up. I do too know that! Safely. Tucked. In.) Or that it’s 10:30 a.m. and he’s busily working.

But I still haven’t caught up with my dad. I don’t know where he is on Tuesdays in the future.

Sick. Sick. Sick. Whine. Whine. Whine.

I don’t remember the last time I was sick, but I’ll tell you what. I have never felt like this before.  Somebody told me that they heard if anyone catches the flu this early, then it’s probably swiny. I don’t know if that’s true, but it makes sense to me.

An experiment took place — without my consent, mind you — involving my body’s ability to cough up both lungs and a pancreas while still allowing the host to pray for a quick death.

The feasibility of this study is under scrutiny. I hope no federal funds were used.

You know I was sick because I missed my son’s first marching band competition of the season. Instead, I coiled in the fetal position and listened to the dulcet tones of Scott Simon on Morning Edition; What Do You Know; This American Life; and Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me. I summoned the strength to knock Soothin’ Scott out of the way when the Car Guys came on and hurt my spleen with their gravel voices and maniacal laughter. They are really loud.

Every square inch of bone, muscle and tissue in my body hurt. And when I say “hurt,” I want you to picture getting your fingernails torn off while rolling back and forth on a bed of nails while swallowing shards of glass while attending a Car Guys family reunion. Then multiply it by a gazillion.

I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. Like I said, I haven’t been sick in longer than I can remember and it seems to be leaving as quickly as it came. Plus, I’m a Pollyanna at heart and always look for the roses amidst my thorns. I know it’s not a bad thing to have a reminder to appreciate my normal good health. (Hear that, Karma? Now back OFF!)

I must hunt down the neighbor who insisted on polishing the teeth of every car in the neighborhood, however. It might have been a trick of my delirium, but I think it was the Car Guys messin’ with me again.

Where Is Matt?

What is it about this video that makes me cry every time I watch it?

But these outtakes make me laugh??

My new favorite emoticon

\\\\\\///////

( @@ )

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~

It’s a little fussy, but, oh well. I don’t get out much.

Don’t you think it kinda looks like me?

Extreme Sheepherding

Is there anything YouTube and Welsh shepherds can’t do???

Best. Fiction. Ever.

The National Book Awards organizers have narrowed down the winners of the NBA (no, not basketball) from the last sixty years to six finalists for the best fiction. An impossible task, in my opinion. But they did pretty good.

They are …

• The Stories of John Cheever

• Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man

• William Faulkner’s Collected Stories

• Flannery O’Connor’s The Complete Stories

• Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow

• The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty

Not to brag or anything, but I’ve seen all of these in my public library. Some I’ve even held in my hand!

Just kidding. I’ve read all of these but one, which I tried but couldn’t finish. It did not earn my vote.

Go vote on your favorite until Oct 21. When you vote, you can see the results thus far. Very interesting. Also when you vote, if you enter your email address, you might win two tickets to the 60th National Book Awards on November 18, 2009 and two nights in the Marriott Hotel Downtown! That would be suh-WEET!

Who do you think I voted for? Which one didn’t I finish? Who did you vote for?

Menopause Stories

I’m looking for menopause stories. Yours or someone else’s.

Funny, sad, scary, ironic, apocryphal, enlightening, dubious, charming, educational, poignant.

Anything.

But mostly funny because let’s face it — menopause is a hoot!

Here’s an example … my female dentist of a certain age has to be sure her first appointment of the day is also female because she ALWAYS has a hot flash when she gets into her office in the morning. Men get freaked out, but women get a good laugh from it.

Speaking of men, I’d love to get the male perspective too.

And I want this message to go viral, squirming its way into every nook and cranny of cyberspace. Help me out, peeps.

I will tell you what I’m doing with these stories when you provide one (and if you care). I know this can be a sensitive subject, so please ask for anonymity if you so desire.

There are several ways you can contribute.

One — comment on this blog. Keep in mind this is a public forum, though.

Two — email me directly at AmpersandPress@aol.com with “menopause story” in the subject line.

Three — send me a private message on Facebook.

Four — if you’re my mother, you can call me. I promise to return your call just as soon as I’m able.

There’s no strict timeframe on this … well, not much of one, anyway … so please forward this link to all your far-flung friends and enemies. I want a lot of stories, so viral this, baby!

Thanks so much!

Seven Months

If I told you how many people visit my blog specifically to read about the damage I inflicted on my pinkie toe, you would shout, “YOU LIE!” on the floor of Congress and collect scads of money from my opponents.

Seriously.

So here’s an update.

It’s been almost seven months since it looked like this …

Do know what can happen in seven months?

• A kid can go through Navy boot camp, graduate from Hospital Corps School, and get all settled in Okinawa.

• Whitney Houston can earn some kind of record for not changing out of her pajamas. (It’s unofficial, but I think I might have her beat. She has so little, though, I’ll give her this one.)

• You can serve your term in federal prison for bilking more than $10,000 from a program to help people whose homes were damaged by Hurricane Rita.

• If you’re India, your gold imports can plunge 29% as rising prices cool jewelry demand.

• You can break every single one of your New Year’s Resolutions many times over.

• You can gestate a baboon, several chickens, a tiger, a muskrat, a porcupine, a rhesus monkey, a chinchilla, a kangaroo, a red fox, an opossum, a puma, a parrot, a lion, a tiger AND a bear ….

But your toe would still look like this …

“Why don’t you care about my toe yet?” she whined.

Blog Spam … It’s Not Just For Sandwiches

I’ve written before about the funny ways people stumble into BeckyLand. Most of them seem to want to be here. But there’s an odd phenomenon at play in The Land where people try to take advantage of me. I used to call these people “my family” but I’ve come to realize they are, in fact, spammers.

I know they’re not my family because they speak softly and flatter me, trying to get me to buy their porn or Canadian pharmaceuticals via my ego. It’s normally a good strategy, but they, unlike my family, don’t know how very lazy I am. It’s like a religion with me. “Click there? I don’t think so. I am fatigued from typing winking emoticons on facebook status updates.”

Here are some examples of the spam I get in BeckyLand. Not all of it employs the let’s-dazzle-her-with-flattery scheme. But it’s all worthy of attention. At least momentarily.

• “I found lots of interesting information on beckyland.wordpress.com. The post was professionally written and I feel like the author has extensive knowledge in the subject. beckyland.wordpress.com keep it that way.” Oh, wait. How’d this get in here? This can’t be spam. It’s perfectly reasoned and articulate. Clearly from a highly intelligent being.

• “Hi, interesting post. I have been thinking about this issue, so thanks for writing. I will certainly be subscribing to your posts.” Really? They’ve been thinking about awesome places to piddle around the world? Really? In their defense, it was an extremely entertaining blog and of course they’ll be thinking about it forever, but really … before I posted it?

• “eh… luv it ))” I’m sorry, but this seems kinda lukewarm to me.

• “[...] Read the original: How People Stumble into BeckyLand [...]” Let’s see… how do I explain this? Oh, yeah. This WAS posted on the original, ya freak! Trying to trick me into reading my own blog?? I won’t fall for that again.

• “Hi everybody. I’ve been lurking around the forum for a while but I have a question to ask. I’m trying to find a legit seller for r4 cards for my nintendo. I’m in Germany and I found one site that looks promising.” Nice try, Hans, but you can’t fool me. How can you be in Germany but writing in English? Everyone knows that’s not possible. Plus, I never mailed my blog to Germany.

• “1mDeK3 trowreddizfq, [url=http://gqsulqsinvxk.com/]gqsulqsinvxk[/url], [link=http://doxafvttoxae.com/]doxafvttoxae[/link], http://jircjscttyxv.com/” Sorry. This one is from my family. Dad, how many times do I have to tell you? Left pinky goes on the “A.”

• “seattle festival scared ipl semi garden parkway night the 2 their identity…people who blithely trusted those who traded in human beings. battle against the machines. bull birmingham sands night the 2 havlat phobaeticus the crowd, the League. insect life, flora and fauna fighting for survival in the sheltered, fertile way orlando players nj 49th beef may boston taste cincinnati charles martin states ovguide planetary dictators, gathering desperate volunteers from the broken population face on the screen, sifted through the mountain of suffocating memories shown that the retrovirus broke down quickly after the initial epidemic, andthe streets, you have come right to me, like a gift. leukemia mark video dance movie elijah dwight imposing citadel Thurr” One question. What are you selling? Because I’m pretty sure I want to buy it.

Do you get funny spam?